a beautiful story about mental health, grieving, feeling guilt, forgiveness, and finding love after loss. That's how you imagine books that are so powerful and outstanding they are studied at schools to be written like?

This author is so talented, in fact, she made so many of the unlikable secondary characters likable for me, which is sometimes a difficult task. i really wish charlotte and kellan got their happy ending tho, they made so much more sense and had a lot more in common compared to charlotte and tate - they felt more trauma bonded and were both leaning on each other bc of the memories they had of kellan. Everything centered around healing and life after loss, therefore romance as a subplot would've made this more enjoyable for me. there was so much i loved about this book, it was emotional but didn't make me bawl my eyes out, even though kellan got close.Again, I expected this aspect of the story to match the same tune of the rest, but it didn't, and I'll never not be bitter about it. Look, I know it's not fair to judge a book by the quality of its smut, but Tate behaved like a real horndog through the first part of the book and said things that made my stomach clench, only to turn into a farting deflated balloon the moment it was time to seal the deal. even tho it was always planned he was going to commit su*cide, i’m so glad that he got his happy ending in his own story bc he truly deserved to be happy and loved! i fell in love with his words just the way charlotte did, fast, spinning out of control because the pain that poured out from his body was something you just couldn't look away from. It’s when I push two fingers inside you to check the size, shape, and position of your uterus and screen for cystic ovarian masses or tumors.

why did he keep giving hope to Charlotte if he had known beforehand that his decision wasn't going to change? i planned on finishing it in one sitting, but when i realized i was sobbing at 6am, my plan changed. charlotte and tate were joined together by their grief, but remained together because of love - the push and pull towards each other was executed well. charlotte is haunted by the tragedy of her parent’s death and the cruel consequences that left her sister scarred.charlie gave him a new lease on life, from her insights on kellan, to his sexual attraction to her, the way they fell was so special and their first kiss? You felt it all and you embraced it all because deep down you know the darkness is only temporary and being in the light is worth it.

and simply couldn't turn off his protective instinct and the desire to take care of her even when he did his best to convince himself that he gave zero fucks about Charlie. My dad always looks at me like I’m fucked in the head whenever I’m reading and laughing because it happens at random times.

Yet, this book became a nice exception for me because Charlotte wasn't the only one who had left the last shred of her dignity on Tate's door threshold. tate had understandable reasons on why he hated his dad - she didn’t have to constantly pry into their personal business. Tate and Charlotte's chemistry was keeping me on edge and the writing flowed (but their sex scenes except the ob-gyn one were mediocre). But my goodness, I feel like had I read the blurb or reviews it wouldn’t have been impactful so just know that the story was amazing and all encompassing. I wanted to feel at peace with them and even though I hated some of their decisions and the way some things were done, I still held them close to my heart.