One way that you can do that is to use positive reinforcement when the submissive is following the rules. Positive reinforcement can be as effective as corporal punishment. Rewards can be used as motivators. As a submissive myself, nothing makes me happier than pleasing my Dominant. If I please him, then he reciprocates with more doting behavior. He delights in making me happy. So if I follow the rules, he rewards me. It makes me want to keep behaving. Positive reinforcement works best for me. Gifts- Gifts do not have to be extravagant. They can be small. For example, maybe the submissive likes chocolate, coffee mugs, or makeup. You can get her one of these items and present it to her when she does as you ask or complies with a rule that has been difficult for her to follow in the past.

Consent is ongoing and can be revoked at any time by either the Dom/me or the submissive, even if the submissive has previously agreed to do something. Things they find pleasurable- The Dominant should find out things that submissive would like to try or things that she really likes and give her more of that as a reward Maybe it’s something as easy as allowing her to masturbate while taking a hot bath or as elaborate as a spa day being pampered. Be creative with this one.There are two different elements at play here. One is discipline and the other is punishment. How are they different, you ask? Don’t they go hand in hand? Yes and no. By definition discipline is to train to act in accordance with a specific set of rules. This is like going to the gym when you are training for a race of some sort. Punishment is a consequence of breaking a set of rules that have been established. Think detention for being late to school. Two sides of the same coin that work together for the best desired outcome.

If I broke a rule and knew that I disappointed my Dominant, I would need to have a discussion about what happened, why I shouldn’t break the rule, why the punishment happened, and that I am still loved and cared for. I made a bad choice, I am not a bad girl. While it looks different than post-playtime aftercare, that bit of reassurance and reconnection allows me to have time to improve and remember he is still there for me. Rewards The symbol has a significant meaning and details that make it stand for what it stands, so not much can be changed about the basic design, on the other hand, I would also like it to be PRETTY, feminine, and unique. So far I haven't found such a design. Lines- Think like the bad students writing “I will not chew gum” on the board over and over again. Same concept. Both of the writing punishments are effective because they require internal thought combined with a physical action. There is something cathartic that happens when you commit an idea or thought to paper. It helps commit the idea to memory. That's where you might come in! I know there are so many really talented and creative artists on DA, I figured I'd give it a try to see if any DA'ers have a pretty design in mind. I already bumped into some wonderful designs, but not yet the perfect one.

Secret Light-saber Tattoo That Shows Under Black Light

D/s looks different for every pair of partners. Even you, as an individual, can need and want different things from each partnership. For me, it said he was serious about being my Dom and that he wanted me to belong to him. Maybe, a bit like the first romantic gift a boyfriend buys, only, different in so many ways. The moment was very special to me since it was the collar he had made just for me and that he wanted just me. When it comes to ownership, there are even different types of collars (and different colors) that are like the different stages of being owned by your Dom/me. For example, there’s a collar of consideration (when you haven’t quite committed to each other but the Dom is considering taking on the submissive) and then there are training collars that are used once the consideration process is complete and you decide to move things to the next level. “The Talk” Like I said earlier, discipline and punishment are two totally different things, but they are related. A good Dom will help teach the submissive how to push their limits. They are training the sub to be the best sub that they can be for them.

For me, bdsm is a lot about love, so if the symbol could represent both that would be totally awesome. Cute hearts are nice, but I wonder how good they will look when I'm 50. I have been thinking about getting the bdsm emblem tattooed on my body for several years now, and recently I have been spending more and more time researching for the perfect design. Tone of voice- For me this is the greatest reward. Hearing my Dom’s voice assure me that I am safe and his, is the greatest reward. To me it’s the ultimate prize. When I receive that message, he affirms that I am a good girl and that I please him. There is a sweetness in his voice that I know is mine alone. It’s a tone that he only shares with me and instantly calms me. It makes me want to keep pleasing him. Conclusion

Hidden Message Tattoo

The Dominant wants respect and devotion. The submissive must trust the boundaries and rules that are put into place. As a submissive, I rely on my Dom to guide me, lead me, and in return he gets my devotion. Punishments Responsible Dom/mes understand their submission is a gift and good submissive’s understand that Dom/mes need to be needed/wanted as well. The desired outcome is to have a healthy relationship where you both feel safe, happy, and cared for. By following rules that are set by the Dom, the submissive can relax and trust that they are taken care of. When the submissive complies with the rules, the Dominant feels proud that he is able to have been given the gift of submission. The Dominant then feels accepted, desired, and confident like the Master they are. Power Play

Speech Restrictions- The submissive is not allowed to talk to the Dominant. For me, this would be a very painful punishment. I need a voice and to be unable to speak to him would be very painful. What if you want to try and avoid the rule breaking and consequences all together? For me, punishment creates fear. The last thing that I want to do is have fear of my Dominant. Sometimes punishments are necessary, but you don’t have to always use that as your go-to. Rewards can go a long way to getting the submissive to stay in line. At least it works for me. Again, totally subjective - everyone views ownership differently. On a most basic level, ownership is about belonging to/with someone. The terms of this and how this looks for you and your Dominant are entirely up to you to decide. I can't offer much in return but ofcourse the chosen design will have the honour of being on my body fohevurrrr Owning a submissive (particularly the submissive that you desire) can be such a prideful thing. This beautiful, obedient, (in your eyes) perfect submissive has decided to give you the most precious thing someone could give - their obedience and loyalty. Being gifted someone’s submission can be a huge point of pride, especially when it comes to acts of ownership. To a submissive, ownership can be about enhancing the connection you already have.

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A “submissive” is someone who willingly gives up control during BDSM play to their Dominant partner. A sub can be referred to as a slut, slave, bottom, little girl, etc. When it comes to ownership, the words “slave” or “property” are commonly used. Ownership and submission can go hand in hand, but not always. Not all submissives care to be “owned” by a Dominant. The main difference is that ownership cements the commitment between a Dominant and submissive. Other D/s relationships (sans the ownership) may have commitment terms (such as monogamy, etc) - but ownership in itself is a distinct thing that takes some negotiating. Why is ownership sexy? As a Dom/me, you need to be independent and removed-enough from the situation to be able to keep a cool and level head during intense sessions. However, you need to depend on your submissive enough to let them in, to care for them, to get to that magical place where you interact with them in a way no one else does. The goal, in any healthy relationship, is a balance between needing them and being able to care for yourself. In D/s relationships, this balance is critical not only to your own welfare but to the success of your partnership. Collars are the thing that is most commonly associated with ownership. Being collared, as it’s called, can mean so many different things. It can be a simple accessory or prop that you use during playtime or it can be a symbol of something deeper (like ownership). They can be worn all the time (beautiful collars like this) or they can be specifically used for play (more practical collars like this). Some collars are even kind of symbolic of a wedding band. The kind of collar you (and your Dominant) choose should represent whatever you want it to represent and it should be a style that you are happy with.